The more I talk, write and chip in my two well-worn cents in one forum or another, the more I realize that words are (largely) meaningless. It’s not that words aren’t useful–we still have to communicate–but most of what’s being said, when I really think about it, is just fluff. Space fillers.
Example #1
I try as much as propriety allows to speak honestly, but I also know that sometimes, in my quest to be kind and encouraging, I often use words that don’t really correspond to reality. Something that is pleasing and admirable becomes “great.” A small victory–such as someone winning in an online game or finding their keys or finally getting rid of a pimple–becomes “awesome” or “fantastic.” An impressive work is likened to a famous person’s obra maestra. Etc. Etc.
Mind you, it’s not like I’m lying or faking it. It’s just that in a world that has largely opened itself up to intense communal discussion of even the most trivial issues…where one person has not just one blog, but two or three…where every thought and every move is recorded on Twitter, Facebook or some other online networking site…words are now a dime-a-dozen. Simply saying that something is “okay” is now almost akin to a put-down, even when meant as a compliment.
Example #2
When I open my mouth to talk about the various horrid things going on in the world, a huge part of me feels like such a hypocrite. I know that I’m just spouting air bubbles, living in the ether. It’s easy to have an opinion from the safety and comfort of my couch, when nothing that I could ever say or imagine can ever come close to the reality, to the hell people who are affected by the issue must be going through.
Example #3
Words are often a source of misunderstanding. Milan Kundera, one of my fave authors, explains it well in his novel “The Unbearable Lightness of Being.” Basically, he says that as they age, people slowly build a repertoire of meanings for various words–and everything they think, say or do is filtered through that very personal repertoire.
The same word, therefore, could mean something entirely different from one person to the other. Take “love.” While some people think that sex has nothing to do with love, others would disagree. While some think that to love someone is to let them go, others believe that to love someone is to fight for them to the very end. There are people who think love and violence are incompatible, still others who think laying down one’s life–or the lives of innocents–is sometimes a necessity in defending what one loves. Etc. etc.
Consequently, when someone uses the word “love,” it often carries certain implications and expectations that don’t necessarily correspond to another person’s understanding of the same word. The root cause of most arguments isn’t about what’s being said, but how it’s being said.
Example #4
I find it wonderful when people who don’t speak the same language arrive at an understanding. One could be speaking in Chinese, the other Russian–and for all purposes they could as well be speaking Alien–yet they still get what the other is trying to say, and vice versa. It seems that there is one underlying language in all humanity, one that cuts across all ages, races, biases and beliefs. It’s what makes two people from opposite sides of the globe laugh, cry or react in exactly the same way over the same thing–even if they’ve never met or heard of each other before. Even if one eats cows, and the other venerates cows. Even if they worship on opposite sides of the Wall.
On the Flip Side
However. I DO think there’s something to be said for not shutting up. For one, talking generates buzz and energy that helps propel people to action.What’s more–and perhaps this is more urgent, in a personal way–because of how small the world has become, to talk less is to invite isolation. More and more, relationships are being built and nurtured online. It’s a double-edged sword: The same thing that brings us closer to each other–the Internet–is also what brings us further and further apart. When human touch and face-to-face contact is replaced by emoticons and a glowing screen, our need to talk more, to share our lives, to connect with someone else, intensifies. It’s not really easy to just shut up.
So there you go. I seem to have said a lot, for someone who finds it admirable to rein in her words. Oh well! Maybe next time.
